Careers

Departmental
Updates and Changes


Formation of The Society for
the Protection of Recalcitrant Queens

Initiated by His Royal Majesty in the aftermath of Queen Vashti’s tragic end, this society will come up with laws and innovative ideas to ensure future queens are protected from spur-of-the-moment murder decisions.


Welcome the New Guards

The Royal Palace is pleased to announce the appointment of two new royal threshold guards, Bigsan and Seresh.


537th Reshuffling of Royal Advisors

Thanks to his fantastic job of ingratiating himself with the king, the charismatic Haman ben Hamdasah has been promoted to top advisor and minister in the Royal Court.


NEW! Department of Wine Development

After 180 days of partying, the king and royal court have grown bored of the current selection of wines curated from around the world. Therefore, the king has issued a decree to form a department for the development of rich new wines. All expert vintners are encouraged to apply.

Career Opportunities

Handmaiden

The Royal Palace prides itself on providing to every whim of every royal family member at a moments notice. As handmaiden, your job will be to do anything you are told, no matter how ridiculous or difficult.

What we’re looking for:

A thick-skinned multi-tasker who feels comfortable in a very fast paced environment. You must also be able to read body language quickly so you can avoid and/or escape bouts of rage from your royal employer.

Qualifications:

  • 5-7 years housekeeping experience in a wealthy household
  • Extreme humility

Trash Thrower

There is never a shortage of petty infighting and politics in the royal court. In cases where murder is not warranted, the wronged party needs a more benign way to express anger. And what better way than public humiliation through

garbage dumping? Be sure not to dump on the wrong person, or there may be fatal consequences! (Don’t say we didn't warn you!)
What we’re looking for:

A dim-witted individual with brainless loyalty, arms of reasonable strength, and a lack of aversion to garbage.

Qualifications:
No experience necessary

Party Attender

Bring the king honor by showing the world how many people have come to celebrate with him. And of course, by gorging on his food and wine to compliment the Royal Kitchens.

What we’re looking for:

Someone who knows how to have a good time, and has no self-consciousness to speak of. Love of dancing and/or immorality is a big plus.

Qualifications:

  • Huge appetite
  • Ability to safely or unsafely imbibe large quantities of alcohol

Courier

His Majesty King Achashverosh, together with the wise and great Haman, frequently come up with many great declarations of utmost importance. To ensure that no one in the empire remains in the dark about

the declarations, couriers are needed to pass the messages as fast as inhumanly possible.
What we’re looking for:

Superior horse riders with extreme stamina, who can remain loyal despite awful conditions. Whenever a royal proclamation is issued, you need to be available at a moment’s notice to begin a long and arduous journey to your designated locations.

Qualifications:

  • Superior horse riding skills
  • Strength Certification from a Royal Gym
  • Night/weekend availability

Officer of Offense

Making life as unhappy as possible for any kind hearted or good individuals in the empire. You’ll be required to stroll the streets, recording all acts of kindness, and sending a weekly report to the palace.

What we’re looking for:

A bitter individual with a visceral resentment of anything good.

Qualifications:

  • Nice handwriting
  • 5 References of Offense

Council of Corruption, Member

There are no current openings for this position.

Hired Sword

In an empire as large as Shushan, there are countless undesirable individuals that need to disappear unceremoniously. Your job as Hired Sword will be to execute these executions as quickly as

possible, so the Council of Corruption can go on with their lives unimpeded by righteous people putting them on a guilt trip.
What we’re looking for:

Do you get a rush of pleasure at the thought of swinging a sword? Has violence fascinated you since a young age? Then you have just the right temperament for this position.

Qualifications:
  • Bloodthirsty
  • Trained swordsman
  • 2-3 years experience with manslaughter
  • No conscience
  • Stealth factor of 10